What you make with your hands, do not break with your feet.

How many times have you started a diet?  The drill is all too familiar: you make a decision that THIS time, your are really going to stick to it. The day dawns, the diet begins with lots of commitment and determination, and things go well for a while.  But then, there is a slip – maybe a big dinner out, or a birthday cake, or any number of other things that throw the diet off.  The next thing you know, you’re making a decision that THIS time, you are really going to stick to it…

This proverb talks about resisting the tendency to sabotage yourself.  There are so many things we set out to do that are wonderful and worthwhile and HARD. To accomplish anything requires focus and work, so  you have to stick with it. And you have to be really careful so that you don’t become the obstacle in the path of your success.

If you decide to put $25 a week in the bank to save for the future, but every few months you dip into it to “take care of an emergency”, what will you have when the future arrives?  If you want to get ahead at work, but you constantly come in late and argue with your coworkers, how likely is it that you’ll move up the ladder?  Sure, emergencies happen and coworkers can be jerks, but only you know in your heart of hearts the role you play in making your dreams come true.  What you make with your hands, do not break with your feet.  Keep the bigger picture in mind, and do the work necessary to get there. When your whole body is working together, you can accomplish anything you want!

A four legged dog only goes one way.

Multitasking is expected of all of us these days.  We are used to doing three or four things at a time: talking on a cellphone while cooking and checking email between ingredients, or traveling to work and shopping online while reading the news.

I used to take pride in how many things I could do at one time, until I discovered something: doing too many things at one time is a surefire way not to do any of them well!  When your attention is divided, so is your effort, and no task gets the very best you have to offer.

Consider instead the message of the four legged dog.  Once the dog has chosen a direction, all of the legs go with it - attention is focused and progress is made.  Give a task your focused attention and make progress!  If you have lots of things to do, choose the order and try doing them one at a time.  See if you can get more accomplished by spending 20 laserlike minutes on each of three jobs in succession OR multitasking for the whole hour.  Which feels better? More satisfying? Less harried? My guess -

The four legged dog rules!

The way you speak is the way you are treated.

Not too long ago, I learned about a program that teaches inner city children “business talk”.  That is, learning to speak the lanuguage of the business world, so that as they grow, these children can communicate clearly in the broadest possible community.  It is an admirable lesson taught from a place of great concern: that when these children become adults, they will be judged immediately (and perhaps harshly)  not based on their skills or talents, but on the way they present themselves, and a large part of that is the way they speak. 

That concern may seem clear with children, but it is no less true of adults.  Have you watched some of the “reality” shows on TV lately?  It seems that cursing, yelling and rudeness are qualities to be celebrated.  Clearly being obnoxious gets a lot of folks on television, and many of them go on to more and more fame – obnoxiousness pays off.

So if being rude can make you rich and famous, what is the value of business talk?  Why should anyone believe that speaking clearly and courteously is worthwhile? The way you speak is the way you are treated.  I have to believe that some of the reason we watch those shows is to feel superior.  In the same situations, we would behave better!  Or even further, we would not put ourselves in that situation in the first place! 

But to the extent that society rewards rudeness, this lesson may be missed.  And while someone may temporarily feel superior by outshouting someone else, their insecurities show behind the bluster.  A quality presentation is respected more than bullying noise, so consider how you want to be treated before you open your mouth.

Throw it out to the backyard

My tendency when something goes wrong is to relive it, either alone or with others.  I talk to friends and strangers, coaches and therapists, sometimes going into past lives and inner children.  It feels good to get the sympathy.  Hearing people validate my hurts and disappointments gives me a warm fuzzy feeling of self righteousness – I deserve time to curl up in a ball away from everyone or soothe myself with brand new pair of shoes or if its really bad…chocolate!

There is a whole train of thought saying we should dredge up and analyze every past pain. But the truth of this proverb is that reliving pain only keeps you hurting, and you can’t get to pleasure like that.  The longer you wallow in the muck, the longer you are stuck. There is another option:

Look at the situation

Find the lesson and keep it

Throw the rest out to the backyard – leave it behind and move on.

And no going back to the yard to pick through the rubble!  Going backwards prevents going forward, so just let it go.  Keep the lesson in your mind, and allow your heart and soul to open up and move ahead.

Sound cold?  Might be, but look at it this way: we can only grow from painful experiences if we get past them.  So while it may feel good to talk with girlfriends about your terrible break up, or with coworkers about what the boss did to you, or with writer friends about your rejected article, do you really want to stay in that sadness? 

Look at the situation

Find the lesson and keep it

Throw the rest out to the backyard