Throw it out to the backyard

 

My tendency when something goes wrong is to relive it, either alone or with others.  I talk to friends and strangers, coaches and therapists, sometimes going into past lives and inner children.  It feels good to get the sympathy.  Hearing people validate my hurts and disappointments gives me a warm fuzzy feeling of self righteousness – I deserve time to curl up in a ball away from everyone or soothe myself with brand new pair of shoes or if its really bad…chocolate!

 

There is a whole train of thought saying we should dredge up and analyze every past pain. But the truth of this proverb is that reliving pain only keeps you hurting, and you can’t get to pleasure like that.  The longer you wallow in the muck, the longer you are stuck. There is another option:

 

Look at the situation

Find the lesson and keep it

Throw the rest out to the backyard – leave it behind and move on.

 

And no going back to the yard to pick through the rubble!  Going backwards prevents going forward, so just let it go.  Keep the lesson in your mind, and allow your heart and soul to open up and move ahead.

 

Sound cold?  Might be, but look at it this way: we can only grow from painful experiences if we get past them.  So while it may feel good to talk with girlfriends about your terrible break up, or with coworkers about what the boss did to you, or with writer friends about your rejected article, do you really want to stay in that sadness? 

 

Look at the situation

Find the lesson and keep it

Throw the rest out to the backyard